1 hour of 2010 left

While I am not sad at all to see 2010 go, I am kinda sad to see this day go. Who knew that someone could find themselves so much in three days? I didn't. I've realized that for so long I have been pretending to be happy when I wasn't. And I know that is sucky for some people to hear, but for so long I have been pushing me aside, and for what? An empty promise, and out of fear. I can't do it any more, and I wont. 


So today I went out with two great friends. The first was fun cause we could just joke around. People probably thought we were obnoxious, but hey, you are only young once right? We didn't hurt anyone so I think we're okay. Then I got to go to dinner with my mom and my grandparents. Then went to go see a chick flick. Doesn't sound out of the ordinary for many people, but to me it was a blast. I just wanna have fun, thats all. 


So now I'm at home, my mom is asleep, an awful show is on the television, my phone just dinged, and I have a smile on my face that doesn't seem to be going away...I'm a happy girl for once, and you are NOT going to knock me down. Not now.


So here's the toast for today...It goes out to Lacy Davis (love you girl!) 


So long 2010 and the shit you have brought us, thanks for giving us a semester to live together. Here's to us both ending 2010 with a smile on our faces. Here's to us going to be okay. We're gonna make it! <3

It's the end of 2010

So here I am. A 21 year old who has had their life completely changed in the last 6 months. I am an anxious mess most of the time. I am learning how to live with my parents separated, and as an adult with a "big girl job". Kinda crazy. I've never done so much thinking as I have done in the past week. I'm single again so I guess for the first time in a long time my free time is just that. MY free time. So with free time comes change. With this year ending so is part of my life. I am going to change. I am finally deciding to live for me. I'm so tired of being everything for everyone when I can't be that for myself. I so often put myself on the back burner to put those ahead of me who could care less about me. It's time. I am starting to go to the gym. I'm gonna look banging by the end of the year if I have any say in it. I am gonna be better to myself inside and out, starting today.


I find it kind of funny that I went to college as a back up plan, and what I learned and the friends I have made have completely changed my life. Most girls go to college and find their husbands, but I found my bridesmaids (if I ever get to the point where I need them).


So if I had a glass in my hand I'd toast....Here's to the new year, the new me, great friends, some great choices, and some awful ones to learn from. Thanks for the hell of a ride 2010, bring it on 2011.