So I'm laying here in bed. Wide awake but so physically exhausted. I can't help to think after the passion play tonight and the way I've been feeling lately. I feel like I am falling apart, away from god. It's like I am in quick sand, and I can see the light above my head and cant do anything about it. I can struggle to get out but it only makes me feel like I am falling faster some days. There is no doubt that I need to start going back to church, but I feel like I need something different. I would like something contemporary, but don't even know where to begin looking. I don't know anyone who goes to a contemporary church, or where to find one. All I know is I need to start trying again. Cause nothing seems to fit any more.
And somehow through all of the craziness that kid devon from geneva keeps coming in to my mind. I am so curious as to where he is. I feel bad for his family. No one knows if he is dead or alive. I could not imagine a family member of mine being missing for over three months. When will it end? Has everyone given up on him? Is his once empty seat in classes now going unnoticed, or has it been given to the new kid in town? How do we move on and not care?
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